How to coach your patients: Learn five practical steps to apply in your daily practice

Contributors: Dr Natalie Yates-Bolton, Eleonóra Barcziová

By mastering techniques such as active listening, asking the right questions, and fostering patient collaboration, oral health professionals can move beyond simply giving instructions to empowering patients to take an active role in their oral health.

Dr Natalie Yates-Bolton, a healthcare professional with years of experience in teaching and communication, had a passing interest in coaching at first. With a PhD and expertise in healthcare, she felt quite confident in her communication skills. However, when she signed up for a coaching program, she quickly realised that coaching was more than just an approach to communication; it was a complete mindset and behavioural shift.

She soon discovered that instead of immediately giving instructions to patients, it is much more powerful to embrace silence. In fact, one of the most powerful shifts for her was learning to stay quiet, and acknowledge the person's feelings and perspectives. As she says, sometimes she had to literally sit on her hands to remind herself to pause, giving the individual the time they needed to think through their responses.

This and many other discoveries did not just transform Dr Yates-Bolton's professional life; it also had a huge impact on her personal interactions. Despite her extensive background, she considers the coaching program to be one of the most powerful learning experiences of her career.

Integrating coaching techniques into daily practice can be equally transformative for dental professionals. While the pressures of time and patient volume are real, Dr Yates-Bolton highlights that “By taking the time upfront to truly engage with patients, listen, and empower them to make informed decisions, the outcomes are not only more fulfilling for both parties but can ultimately lead to a more efficient and effective practice.”

What is coaching

“Coaching in healthcare supports patients in making informed decisions and taking responsibility for their health through meaningful conversations.”

“The term ‘coaching’ derives from the Hungarian word kocsi, which translates to ‘wagon of Kocs’ – a village in Hungary where horse-drawn carriages were first made,” writes coach Eleonóra Barcziová in The Gentle Guide to Oral Health and Human Happiness. This idea helps us understand coaching today: a coach is like a vehicle that helps someone move from one level of understanding to another. As racing driver and coaching expert Sir John Whitmore said in his book Coaching for Performance, "Coaching is all about the journey."

Just as a carriage carries its passengers from one place to another, coaching guides individuals from a place of uncertainty, confusion or fear to one of clarity and understanding. This journey is shaped by purposeful conversation, where the coach helps clients make informed decisions, understand their needs, and find the best path forward. 

Who is a coach, who is a coachee, and what is the dynamic between them?

Why is a coaching approach towards patients relevant for dental professionals?

Dentistry is ultimately about treating people, not just diseases. As a dental professional, your ability to communicate, connect, and guide patients is crucial to their health outcomes and overall experience. By applying a coaching approach, you can shift the dentist-patient relationship from a transactional and directive one to a collaborative one, leading to better experiences for both parties.

In reality, patients don't just need instructions. Simply telling them to brush and clean their interdental spaces might not be enough. Instead, they need to understand why it matters to them personally and feel empowered to make it a habit. Ultimately, when patients feel involved in decisions about their care, they are much more likely to follow through.

Coaching vs. other approaches — what is the difference? 

“To understand the distinction between coaching and other approaches like mentoring, consulting, or therapy, consider the journey metaphor shared by coaches Carol Wilson and Frank Besser,” explains coach Eleonóra Barcziová. “Think of the patient as someone trying to drive a car. A therapist would explore what is preventing the patient from driving the car. A consultant would advise the patient on how to drive the car. A mentor, on the other hand, would share their own experiences of driving, offering tips based on their expertise.”

In contrast, coaching takes a more collaborative approach. It encourages the individual to explore how to drive the car, guiding them in uncovering their insights and solutions. This shift from giving advice to fostering self-discovery sets coaching apart and leads to more lasting, sustainable changes in the individual’s habits and mindset.

The neuroscience behind coaching  

The main goal of coaching is to help individuals make lasting changes in their lives. However, change is often uncomfortable, as it requires unlearning old habits and developing new ones, which demands focus and intention. A coach's role is to recognise this challenge and create a space where these changes can occur, being mindful of old patterns and guiding the coachee in overcoming them. 

To understand how coaching works, it is helpful to examine how our brains respond to change and learn new habits. Recent research on how our brains form and reinforce habits sheds light on how coaching can be effective, especially in a dental setting.

Why people cling to old habits

Every time we learn something new, our brains create neural pathways that become stronger with repetition, making behaviours feel "normal." For example, if someone has a long-standing fear of dental treatment, their brain reinforces this fear over time, making it harder to overcome. Breaking these habits requires effort and focus, as new pathways must be formed while the old ones fade away.

Coaching leads to behaviour change

The right coaching approach helps individuals form new, healthier neural pathways and change their behaviour. According to Richard Boyatzis and Anthony Jack's article, The Neuroscience of Coaching, coaching can motivate individuals to face challenges, stay open to new ideas, and remain engaged in their growth. The most effective coaching approach is:

This coaching style boosts motivation, promotes behaviour change, and helps coachees develop a vision for their future, keeping them on track. It also helps them manage the stress of change.

Relationship first, task second

Boyatzis and Jack also emphasise the quality of the relationship between coach and coachee. Prioritising the relationship over the task helps because:

• A relationship-based approach results in more positive feelings about change, greater commitment to goals, and more energy toward future visions.
• A strong relationship is more likely to help the coachee stay motivated and engaged throughout the change process.

In the dental setting, this is especially important. Building trust and focusing on the relationship helps patients feel comfortable, making them more likely to follow treatment plans and make lasting changes to their oral health.

The information provided about how coaching influences our brains and behaviour is just a starting point, with much more to explore. If you want to learn more about the neuroscience of coaching and its key concepts, check out the podcast series by the Association for Coaching through this link.

Coaching helps both patients and dental professionals — here is how 

“The value of coaching is that it equips and enables the patient to become a partner in decision-making.”

What coaching is NOT 

Coaching is not giving advice or telling patients what to do. Instead, coaching is about creating an environment where the patient can raise their awareness and make informed, self-driven decisions which work best for them.

Coaching is not a one-time fix. Rather, coaching is an ongoing process, where each session builds on the last, with follow-ups and continuous support to ensure the patient’s progress and the adoption of healthier habits over time.

Coaching is not a one-size-fits-all approach. In reality, coaching is tailored to each individual patient’s situation, adapting to their needs, concerns, and learning styles. Even though there are many coaching models, the goal is to create a personalised approach to care that works for the individual, rather than applying a preset method.

Coaching is not for everyone. Coaching works best with patients who are open to reflecting on their habits and actively engaging in decision-making about their oral health. However, some patients may not be ready or willing to explore their motivations or take a collaborative approach to care. In such cases, the preferred approach should be determined in the rapport-building phase with the patient.

How to develop a coaching mindset

Before adopting any coaching tools or frameworks into your dental practice, let's highlight what it truly means for one to acquire a coaching mindset. As coach Eleonóra Barcziová says, "Coaching is an act of containment. It is about creating a supportive space that holds someone — not too tightly and not too loosely — and provides a sense of safety where they feel supported but also challenged to grow.”

To create that space and time for someone and hold them within, a coach needs to work consciously and constantly on their own awareness and development.

“We commit to continuous learning. We engage in self-reflection and supervision practices to deepen our understanding. We focus on our growth as human beings, exploring our bodies, minds, and emotions. We also examine our intentions and motivations behind the work we do. All of this helps us develop a coaching mindset, allowing us to stay open, curious, and focused on our clients,” explains coach Eleonóra Barcziová. 

From this foundation, you can adopt coaching tools and techniques in a way that truly serves your patients' needs, rather than following rigid structures. In the end, developing a coaching mindset is an ongoing journey — one that starts with working on ourselves.

Dr Yates-Bolton describes two complementary and well-established approaches to coaching that are proven to create a structured yet empathetic way to coach people — the GROW model and the Compassionate coaching model. 

“The GROW model, developed by Sir John Whitmore, is a standard approach to coaching and provides a clear framework which helps people set goals, understand their current situation, explore options, and commit to action,” explains Natalie.

The GROW model is the most widely used workplace coaching model worldwide and has helped employees improve work performance, solve problems, identify and learn new skills, and set and achieve goals. The model follows four key steps:

While the GROW model provides a goal-oriented approach to coaching, Compassionate coaching brings an essential emotional depth to the process. Without compassion, goal-setting can feel transactional or overly rigid. Compassionate coaching emphasises full presence, empathy, understanding, and support, rather than prescribing solutions. The key steps include:

1. Paying full attention: Am I fully present with this person?
2. Developing understanding: What is their perspective and experience?
3. Showing empathy: How can I acknowledge their emotions?
4. Offering support: How can I help in a way that empowers them?

"I always try to blend the GROW model with compassionate communication, but it is about flexibility. Some situations call for a more structured approach, while others need deeper empathy. The key is adapting to each person’s needs so they truly feel supported," adds Dr Yates-Bolton.

A step-by-step coaching approach for dental professionals

By combining the GROW model, which provides a clear framework for goal-setting, with a compassionate approach, which ensures empathetic, patient-centered care, we have created five practical steps for you to start applying in your daily dental practice. 

An important point to remember in this process is that it is never linear. Rather than simply following a fixed path, it is crucial to stay present, listen actively, and adapt your approach as needed.

Helpful reminder: Remember that the coaching approach described below is one of many and may not be suitable for every patient-specialist situation. Ultimately, it is up to you to find the best way to engage your patients in making a change. 

1. Pause and listen.

One of the most important coaching skills when a patient enters your office is the ability to pause and listen without rushing to answer. 

Dr Yates-Bolton reflects on her growth in this area: "Listening is where I have changed most as a human being: I have learned to listen slowly and not respond immediately. Silence creates space for the patient to say more than what they initially shared.” This is crucial because often, what patients first tell you is not their true concern. By taking the time to listen without rushing to respond, you give them the opportunity to express deeper feelings and provide more accurate information.

However, be mindful when using silence as an approach. Not everyone feels comfortable with the space that silence creates, and for some, it may lead to discomfort or anxiety. It is essential to be aware of the patient’s response to silence and adjust accordingly to ensure they feel supported and heard.

How to pause and listen:

• Be present: Avoid distractions. Don’t check your phone or computer and don't multitask. Give the patient your full attention.
• Engage all your senses: Listen to the words the patient says, but also observe their body language and emotional cues. If they seem nervous or reluctant to speak, that is important information too.

• Create space with silence: Jumping in with your assumptions can divert the patient off from what they were just about to share. 
• Respond without words: Show your patients that you are fully engaged through nodding or maintaining attentive eye contact.

Examples from practice: By pausing and listening, you create space for patients to express what bothers them, such as: 

• Their gums bleed when brushing, so they avoid it.
• Arthritis makes it hard to clean their teeth properly.
• A busy schedule causes them to neglect oral care.
• They are confused about frequent cavities despite regular brushing.

2. Unlock potential with questions

Coach Dr Yates-Bolton explains, “There are two kinds of questions: clarification questions and follow-up questions. Clarification questions help ensure we fully understand the context, while follow-up questions help us explore the patient’s story further." 

How to ask questions:

• Be curious, not judgmental: Focus on understanding the patient’s experience rather than immediately fixing the problem. Avoid questions that may come across as judgmental, such as “Why have you not been cleaning in between your teeth?”
• Use open-ended questions: Ask questions that encourage the patient to reflect and share their experiences in more detail. 
• Use clarification and follow-up questions: Start by clarifying the patient’s answers to ensure you fully understand their situation. Then, ask deeper questions that explore the "How," "What," "Where," and "When" of their experiences. 

Here are some examples of questions that invite a more open conversation:

• Clarification questions:
  • “Can you explain what you mean when you say you are having trouble brushing?”
  • “What exactly makes you avoid using the interdental brush?”
• Follow-up questions:
  • “How do you usually take care of your oral health at home?”
  • “When did you start noticing this problem with your teeth?”
  • “What challenges do you face when trying to maintain your oral hygiene?”
  • “How long have you been dealing with this discomfort?”

By asking questions like these, you show a genuine interest in the patient’s perspective. Dr Yates-Bolton emphasises, “I don’t pre-plan my questions because I follow where the patient leads me. The key is to remain curious and flexible. It is not about getting all the answers right away, but about understanding the patient’s needs on a deeper level.”

Examples from Practice: Asking the right questions helps uncover valuable information that shapes your treatment approach. Here are some examples how:

• A patient mentions they have not visited the dentist in years. Instead of assuming it is just due to fear or cost, ask, “What made you decide to come back now?” This helps uncover motivations like health concerns or a recommendation from a friend.
• A patient might say they have not regularly cleaned the spaces between their teeth. Instead of asking “Why not?” try asking, “What gets in the way of cleaning them for you?” This could reveal time constraints, physical limitations, or a lack of understanding of the benefits of cleaning their interdental spaces.
• If a patient has doubts about committing to a treatment plan. Saying “Is there anything that might be causing your reluctance?” helps identify if the patient is confused about the process, worried about the results, or anxious about potential discomfort.

By asking thoughtful questions, you invite patients to participate in their care and encourage them to take ownership of their health. As coach Eleonóra Barcziová puts it, "Every patient is an expert in their own life. Give them the space to share their knowledge with you.”

3. Acknowledge emotions and perspectives.

When a patient expresses emotions or worries, showing empathy and understanding is key to building trust. 

Dr Yates-Bolton explains, “By acknowledging the patient’s emotions first, we create a space where they can be more open and honest with us. It builds a partnership based on mutual respect and understanding.”

The compassionate coaching model developed by organisational psychologist Michael West plays a key role in this step. The model emphasises full presence, empathy, understanding, and support. Instead of jumping straight into solutions, we allow the patient to feel fully heard, which creates a safe space for deeper conversations and better collaboration in finding a solution together.

How to acknowledge emotions and perspectives:

• Recognise and validate emotions: When a patient shares their feelings, acknowledge them directly. For example, if a patient expresses anxiety, say, “I can hear you are feeling anxious about this. It is completely understandable.”
• Be present and non-judgmental: Avoid offering immediate solutions. Simply be there to listen and show empathy: “It sounds like this has been really tough for you.”
• Use compassionate language: When responding, reflect the patient’s feelings. Statements like, “I can see how frustrating that must be for you,” or “It sounds like you have been dealing with a lot of stress lately,” help show the patient that you truly understand their experience.

Examples from Practice – How to Acknowledge Emotions:

• When a patient is nervous about a procedure: “I can see you are feeling a bit anxious about the procedure. How about we talk through it together and address your concerns?”
• When a patient expresses frustration with their oral health routine: “It sounds like keeping up with your routine has been challenging. I understand that — it is not always easy.”
• When a patient apologises for not following instructions: “It seems like you are feeling guilty about not keeping up. It is okay, we can work through this together.”

4. Collaborate with the patient to develop a solution

After the first round of coaching, where you listened and asked about the patient’s life to learn about their perspective and concerns, it is time to work on the solution that best fits their needs. The ultimate goal is to empower your patients to make informed decisions.

Dr Yates-Bolton explains, “Collaboration is not about guiding the patient to the outcome the dental professional thinks is best. It is about creating a structured conversation where both the patient and the professional work together to reach an agreement on the best care.” 

As a dental professional, it is your role to provide the expertise, but the patient’s input is also vital. “By collaborating, you ensure that treatment decisions are not only clinically appropriate but also aligned with the patient’s lifestyle and preferences. This partnership increases the likelihood that the patient will follow through with their care, leading to better long-term outcomes,” clarifies coach Eleonóra Barcziová. 

How to collaborate with your patients:

• Share evidence-based treatments: After asking questions and acknowledging concerns, share the evidence-based options available. 
• Empower the patient to make decisions: Instead of telling the patient what to do, use phrases like, “Here are the options that could work for you. Which one fits best with what is important to you?”
• Match the patient’s language: Avoid medical jargon that could cause confusion. If the patient is overwhelmed by the idea of a complicated treatment, simplify the explanation. 

Examples from practice:

• When discussing treatment options:

“Now that we have gone over your concerns, let’s look at the treatment options. I recommend this option because it aligns with what we have discussed about your lifestyle and preferences. How do you feel about moving forward with this one, do you have any concerns?”

• When presenting choices for oral care products:

“I have noticed that your brushing technique is good, but changing the type of toothbrush might help improve your results. You could try an electric toothbrush for more consistent pressure or a manual one with a smaller head for better control. Which option do you think would feel more comfortable for your routine?”

5. Self-reflect

The initial coaching session lays the foundation for a lasting, collaborative relationship with your patient. By listening, asking questions, and addressing their concerns, you set the ground for future visits where the patient feels like an active participant in their care.

This approach means that with each new visit, you don’t have to start from scratch. Instead, you build on that foundation of trust and open communication, making it easier for patients to share their concerns and engage in discussions about their treatment.

How to self-reflect:

Set aside time for self-evaluation: After each patient appointment, try taking 5 minutes to reflect on your performance. Ask yourself:

For example, after a difficult conversation with a nervous patient, you might reflect, "I did a great job listening, but I could have explained things more clearly. I will try a simpler approach next time."

Reflect on patient progress: A key part of reflection in coaching is seeing how patients respond to your approach. After follow-up appointments, take the time to reflect on any changes you have noticed in their engagement or behaviour. 

Coach Dr Yates-Bolton shares, "Although coaching is the conversation with the patient, the true process happens once the patient leaves — it is about what they choose to do between the first and second appointment, and then from the second to the third. Did they act on what we discussed? How did the coaching conversation influence their choices?"

Learn from follow-ups: Use follow-up appointments as a crucial opportunity for reflection. When patients return, assess how well your coaching approach has empowered them to take ownership of their oral health. “If the patient is returning, they should feel like a partner in decisions,” Dr Yates-Bolton explains. 

Prioritise self-care: To reflect effectively and be present with your patients, you need to ensure your own well-being. Small acts of self-care, such as adding a buffer between appointments or taking a few deep breaths, can go a long way. "If you’re not prioritising your own needs, it will be harder to show up for your patients," coach Eleonóra Barcziová claims.

In addition to personal self-reflection, integrate a reflective practice into your patient treatment process. After each session, ask your patient three simple questions: What worked well for you today? What could we do differently next time? How do you feel about the approach we are taking? This collaborative dialogue not only helps improve the treatment experience but also empowers the patient to have a voice in their care. It shows your willingness to listen to their feedback and adapt your approach, creating a stronger partnership.

Five essential resources to grow a coaching mindset in your practice

Dive into books, podcasts, and magazines that expand your coaching approach and help you to become a better partner to your patients. 

1. Association for Coaching 
   The Association for Coaching is an independent organisation that promotes high standards and best practices in coaching around the world. Its goal is to inspire coaching excellence and make a positive impact on individuals, organisations, and society. The AC also supports the development of the coaching industry by offering a network for coaches to connect, share knowledge, and continue their professional growth.
2. Coaching Tools and Approaches podcast
   The Coaching Tools and Approaches podcast, an AC Podcast curated by the Association for Coaching, features educational and thought-provoking conversations with coaches, thought leaders, and industry innovators.
3. The Edge of Coaching podcast
   This podcast explores the latest trends, insights, and strategies in the coaching world. Hosted by experts, it features thought-provoking discussions, interviews, and practical tips to help coaches to be at their bravest, most creative and most present with their clients.
4. The book Nonviolent Communication
   The book Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg is a globally acclaimed book that teaches the art of compassionate, effective communication. It can be especially helpful for dental professionals adopting a coaching mindset, as it shows how to ask important questions, listen actively, and empower patients to take responsibility for their own well-being.
5. Institute of Coaching
   The Institute of Coaching, founded in 2009, aims to strengthen the coaching field by incorporating science into its practice. Its mission is to empower coaches by providing a solid scientific foundation, helping to advance the field and improving coaching outcomes through research and evidence-based approaches.

Conclusion: Your coaching journey starts here 

If there is one key takeaway from this guide, it is that the cornerstone of adopting a coaching mindset is creating a safe, open space for patients. Without approaching your patients with curiosity, openness, and sincerity, it is unlikely they will share their true goals or challenges. Holding that space by genuinely listening and ensuring they feel heard is essential for building a strong relationship with patients. 

Once this foundational skill is mastered, you can apply the approach outlined in this guide, which focuses on listening, asking thoughtful questions, collaborating on solutions, and reflecting on progress to support patients in achieving their oral health goals. In this approach, flexibility is crucial, and ultimately, it is up to you as the dental professional to determine the most effective way to encourage lasting change in your patients.

Mini-Guide: Step-by-step coaching approach for dental professionals

1. Pause and listen. Be present and focus entirely on the patient. Use silence as a tool to encourage them to express themselves more deeply. Pay attention to emotional cues and adjust your approach to keep them comfortable.
2. Ask questions. Open-ended questions explore the patient’s experience. Stay curious and avoid judgment. Use clarification and follow-up questions to get a deeper understanding of their concerns.
3. Acknowledge emotions and perspectives. Show empathy by acknowledging the patient’s emotions. This builds trust and encourages more open and honest communication. Avoid rushing into solutions and allow them to feel heard and understood.
4. Collaborate on solutions. Work together to find a treatment plan that suits the patient’s needs and lifestyle. Present options and empower them to make decisions, which leads to better adherence and long-term outcomes.
5. Self-Reflect. After each session, reflect on what went well and what can be improved. Use patient feedback and follow-up visits to continuously adjust your approach and refine your practice.

A final reflection: What is one coaching skill you'll try in your next patient conversation?

Dr Natalie Yates-Bolton is a trained personal and professional development coach with experience coaching individuals in leadership roles and teams. She offers a wide range of coaching services through five building blocks – Place and space, Valuing one’s identity, Dynamics of relationships, Focus of activities, and Care and concern. You can find more about Natalie at fiveblockscoaching.com.

Eleonóra Barcziová, ACC (ICF), is a transpersonal coach who creates space for clients to explore themselves. Her approach is rooted in psychosynthesis, fostering a deeper understanding of the purpose and meaning of various aspects of life as well as life as a whole. She is trained in Performance and Transpersonal Coaching and has over 15 years of experience in people development, company culture, and HR strategy. Eleonóra is a member of the Association for Coaching, the International Coaching Federation, and the Institute of Coaching at Harvard Medical School. You can contact Eleonóra at norabarczi.com.