Little Black Book of Connections

Little black book of connections gitomer

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Jeffrey Gitomer is an eminently successful author of sales books, and a master of self-branding and positioning. Millions read his columns, attend his seminars and buy his branded merchandise – from textbooks to teacups – from his Web site. To boost the level of attention you give his book, he writes in bullet points, uses vulgar phrases and seems to go out of his way to avoid being politically correct. In fact, he advises his seminar students to "turn their sensitivity meters off." Though he admits, somewhat proudly, "I may not always be known as first class," he clearly is onto something supercharged about sales. getAbstract believes that if you can get past the casual writing, the jazzy short-attention-span layout and the idiosyncratic numbering system, you can learn a very useful thing or two about networking from Gitomer's little black book, especially if you are new to the game. When you start reading his networking advice, heed his warning about your sensitivity meter. Then get out there and do unto others, so they will do for you.

Take-Aways

The best way to network is to help others. Then, they will help you in return.
The people you are in touch with are less important to your network than the people who are in touch with you.
The secret to successful networking is to become well-known. Put your name out there with writing, speaking, and developing and distributing e-zines.
People prefer to deal with their friends.
Your success often will be in direct proportion to how many friends you have.
Are you friendly? Can you engage? Do you provide value? If so, you can develop strong connections that will result in enriching relationships.
The number of connections you make in life depends on how attractive you are.
Do not try to create new connections on your own. Use others for this task.
People often do not attempt to connect with new acquaintances for fear of rejection.
The first new connection you make is always the toughest. After that, it becomes easier.

Summary

Getting to Know You

Do you have the connections you need to succeed? To evaluate your networking assets, ask yourself these questions: Do you know the best way to find a respected mentor? Do you understand the opportunity that exists when you are in the close presence of movers and shakers? Do you know how to make a good impression on the people that count? Can you develop strong relationships with your friends, co-workers, bosses, customers and other people? Do you know how to benefit fully from your connections? If you answer "no" to any of these questions, you need to work on developing your networking and connection skills. Start with these guidelines:

"The 17.5 Strategies, Guidelines and Rules of Connecting"

You cannot become a networking maestro without following these essential rules:

"Be friendly first and everything else falls into place" – To win others over, you must be friendly. The three crucial rules for exhibiting friendliness are smile, smile and smile.
"Project your self-image in a way that breeds confidence in others" – Do you have a firm handshake? Are you clean, well-groomed and well-dressed? Are your shoes shined? Always present yourself in a positive, attractive fashion.
"Your ability to look someone in the eye as you speak to them is a tell-tale sign of your own self-respect" – Keep your head up and make direct eye contact.
"Your consistent positive attitude will breed positive responses and positive results" – Positive people are attractive. They attract others.
"No connection is made without some form of risk" – To connect with new people, you must take risks. Maybe you will appear foolish. Maybe you will be rejected. Or maybe you will make a new connection that will prove to be worth a fortune. Take a chance.
"Ninety percent of success is showing up prepared" – The people who do best at networking events arrive ready for action.
"The less you focus on your motive to meet, the more likely it is that your connection will be successful" – People do not like to be used. To connect, drop the agenda.
"Take a genuine interest in other people before you ask them to take a genuine interest in you" – Your initial conversation with someone new should always be about him or her, not you.
"The sooner you can find something in common with the other guy, the sooner all the barriers will disappear" – Shared interests lower the psychological barriers that separate people from each other.
"The higher up the ladder you go, the more cautious people will be of your advances" – "Take it easy" is good advice in many areas, including cultivating powerful individuals for your network.
"Your projected image will often determine your ability to make a real connection" – Be first-class in every way.
"People judge you by every action you take" – It's not what you say; it's what you do.
"Provide value" – What do others get out of meeting you? Make it worthwhile.
Convey "your message with excellent communication skills" – You can't compel others without being compelling yourself. Learn to be a superior communicator.
"Staying in touch is more important and more valuable than making the initial connection" – Use e-zines, e-mail, and other technological advances and techniques.
"Since you don't know what day a powerful connection will be made, you must be ready every day" – The Boy Scout motto is "Be Prepared." Make it yours.
"Your present reputation determines your future fate" – Your reputation is your most important asset. Guard it jealously.
5 "Be yourself" – No one wants to be around a phony.

“There is power in who you know. Not just connection power. Growth power. Success power. Even fulfillment power.”

Now that you know the most important networking guidelines and rules, you are ready to make the best use of your 6.5 primary networking assets:

"Asset 1 – Who Do I Know?"

The people you already know – friends, relatives, co-workers, customers, vendors, and so on – are human assets you should use to expand your connections. Conduct an inventory of everyone you know, and then develop a plan for how you can use these valuable assets to get to know more people. Start with your top 10 contacts. Assign an action item to each person with a 30-day due date. This is your basic game plan. Start playing.

"Asset 2 – What Do I Want?"

You cannot expect to connect with other people if you are not absolutely clear in your own mind exactly why you want to do so. Consider the variety of reasons you may have: employment advancement, career change, financial backing, a sale, a mentor, a bigger social circle and more. Before you attempt to meet someone, define your reasons. Then proceed accordingly. Do not waste other peoples' time. Tell them what you want from them by using a specific "value message." Make sure that the value applies directly to the person you want to meet, and not to you. Demonstrate that any new person who connects with you will directly benefit from the association. Then deliver the goods.

"Asset 3 – What Do I Do?"

Some bedrock truths apply to any networking situation. Taking these basic steps will open any door. The steps are easy enough; the payoff is in the execution. So, be sure that you:

Provide value – Help a new contact build his or her business.
Be honest – It's always the best policy.
Set goals – Establish a plan and work hard toward achieving it.
Function as a valuable resource – You will become the most popular person in town.
Become a storyteller – People love them.
Find the connection – What do you have in common with a networking target? * Become a friend – People prefer to do business with their friends.

"Asset 4 – How Do I Connect?"

Use different connecting tactics to fit in at various events or situations, or to work with people in specific roles. For example:

"Cold calls" – First, avoid them if you can. If not, find some way to engage the person at the other end of the line.
"Networking events" – People go to these gatherings to make contacts. You should attend them to help the people you meet. Then, you'll stand out from the crowd.
"Business events" – You cannot connect at this type of event without being highly knowledgeable about the business at hand.
"Social events" – Stay relaxed. Don't worry. Be happy.
"Seminars" – Set the goal of meeting at least 12 people at every seminar you attend.
"Golf outings" – Keep cool. No one wants to be around an intense competitor.
"Bars" – If you get rejected, you aren't using adequate communication skills. Make your "pick-up line" enticing. Be warm, funny and confident. Don't be a jerk.
"Restaurants" – Make casual conversation. Give business cards to people you meet.
"Sporting events" – Sitting next to a new contact for two or three hours at a sporting event represents a special opportunity. Plan accordingly.
"Influential people" – Ask a third-party to introduce you. Plan your conversation in advance. Provide notable value after the first contact.
"Professional people" – Do you have an attorney or an accountant? If so, begin with them. One good way is to introduce your accountant to your attorney. Professionals love to connect with each other.
"Sales presentations" – Don't try to sell a prospect anything. Work instead to engage your prospect.
"Mentors" – Senior advisers can point out the best path for you to take. Make a list of potential mentors and then develop a plan to meet them.
"Co-workers" – In the office, superficial relationships reign. Change this dynamic. Show genuine interest in the people with whom you work.
"Famous people" – Don't push. Go slow. Don't push. Go slow. You get the idea.
"Conversations" – They must always be about the other person and not about you.

"Asset 5 – Who Knows You?"

To get noticed, you must position yourself strategically. To become known as a respected expert, follow 8.5 positioning rules:

Publicity – Go on the public relations offensive. Get mentioned in print.
Bylined articles and columns – Write an article or column about your area of expertise, and then get it published where it counts.
Public speaking – When you are up there behind the podium, you are the authority.
Internet – Do you have your own Web page? E-zine? If not, why not? Get online.
Trade and professional associations – These groups provide superior networking opportunities. All you need to do is join and become active.
Vive la différence! – The idea is to stand out from the crowd, not to blend in.
Added value – In your articles and speeches, refer people to your Web page or e-zine.
Creativity – Dress up your voice mail, letterhead, business card and fax cover sheet.
5 Put others to work – Expect and ask for testimonials from satisfied customers.

"Asset 6 – The Secret Power of Connections"

Networking champions never prejudge people they do not know. You never know who may become a valuable connection in your life. So how do you determine if someone you have unexpectedly just met may become a worthwhile contact? The best way is to qualify that person by asking intelligent questions.

“The more you get involved and the more you give to others, the more connections you will make, the more friendships you will garner, and ultimately, the more money you will earn.”

The first, last and most important rule is to be friendly with everyone you meet, always. Be genuine. Do not schmooze. Be direct and to the point. Wasting peoples' time is not a good networking strategy. Find some way to wow the new people you meet. An unexpected gift can work wonders.

"Asset 6.5 – The Value of Connections"

Connecting with others is not complicated, and new connections have the potential to bring you unlimited, tremendous value. Your networking connections can give you many assets, including:

Credibility – Join the chamber of commerce or the Rotary. This will boost your credibility and your company's stature.
Leads – When you have a strong, active network, you can often eliminate cold calls. Leads will come directly to you from your valuable contacts.
Prospects – Join business clubs, leads clubs, or trade or professional associations. You will find prospects among the other members.
Sales – The more people you know, the more potential customers you have.
Decision makers – Who is already doing business with a prospect you would like to court? Use that contact as a steppingstone to get in front of the prospect.

"Connection Mastery"

The best way to achieve your networking goals is to enhance your personal brand. People will gravitate to you as a result. Promote yourself as an expert resource. Use valuable showcasing activities (articles, speeches) to become better-known. Find a way to get ahead of your competition. Take the lead in your business community. Learn how to stand out from the crowd. Become known as an innovator to nurture your key asset: your professional reputation.

About the Author

Jeffrey Gitomer is a best-selling author, sales trainer and business coach. He is also the author of The Sales Bible and The Little Red Book of Selling, among many other titles.

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